Singleness, Sex Drive, Etc.


So today, the entire Evangelical world got a peek into my thoughts on singleness. Two new articles—one on Desiring God, and one on RELEVANT (both full of extremely generous people). What do I provide in these articles? Clarity? Direction? Conviction? Answers? A solution to all your problems? … Yes. And more. Read them here:

(1) “The Single Person’s Good Desire for Sex” (Desiring God)

I look at 1 Corinthians 7:9 for help in explaining one forgotten fact: it’s not bad for single Christians to have a sex drive. … Even if they can’t use it.

(2) “Things It’s OK to Feel When You’re Single” (RELEVANT)

Ever receive terribly flat and cliche advice about dating and singleness from married people who are perfect and beautiful? I’m not a fan of cynicism. But I let it fly here. Just a little bit.

Today is a day of acknowledging freedom where freedom is given—to flee from shame and rejoice in Christ in so many earthly ways.

Relax, brothers and sisters. All you have to do is enjoy.

13 thoughts on “Singleness, Sex Drive, Etc.

  1. I have very mixed views of your post regarding the unmarried person’s desire for sex. You point out, quite correctly, that desiring sex is a very good thing for an unmarried person to do; but then you mix and contradict your Biblical exegesis with worldly wisdom… ending up contradicting the very passages you attempt to exegete.

    And your post ends where it needs to begin. It is a good thing that our unmarried people desire sex. It is a bad thing that, desiring sex, they remain unmarried. That is the problem we need to fix, and Scripture does give answers to that problem.

  2. Thank you for your honesty and heart. I fear that issues such as sexuality are so often avoided amongst Christians today – specificaly sexuality as it relates to the single person. Thank you for your boldness to tackle such a difficult topic in a Christ-centered and gospel-saturated way. May God bless you.

  3. Both of these articles were perfectly timed. Thank you for being willing to speak truth into topics people aren’t normally willing to talk about.

  4. Hi, I came across “The single person’s good desire for sex” at Desiring God, and I just wanted to thank you for it. I am 32 year old widow, and though I struggle with the label “single” these days, I’m really thankful your title caught my eye. It’s definitely been a huge adjustment to learn to be single again after marriage. That’s probably an understatement. I really appreciate your exegesis of I Corinthians 7. Of course, I want what will bring God glory, but it’s a beautiful thing to be reminded that the desire for remarriage and sex is a not a bad thing. It’s a blessing to remember it’s validated in Scripture. Thank you for your encouragement. Your post gives me confidence to ask God to bring another husband in His time.

  5. Thanks for writing these articles, they are really good and encouraging 🙂 I’ve shared the Relevant article with some friends and they also appreciated it. God bless!

  6. Great articles! Do you by any chance have a Facebook page I can follow? Or are you a consistent writer on the Desiring God site?

  7. Thanks so much, Paul. As the author of “Celibate Sex: Musings on Being Loved, Single, Twisted, and Holy,” I feel like you gave a sturdier groundwork and foundation for singles to stand on than my book did. Always love seeing brothers & sisters encourage and bolster the gift of singles and their treasured, crucial role in the Body of Christ. Blessings, Abbie

  8. Thank you so much for your article on the Desiring God blog. Another single friend and I found it’s truths incredibly encouraging, affirming and liberating. I Cor 7 has always been a burdensome and confusing passage to me. How could the same man write this chapter and Eph 5 about the glory of marriage? It was so very encouraing to have this question answered and for once not have the passage used as a battering ram to tell me ‘singleness is such a wonderful gift, what’s your problem with it?!’.

  9. Read your article on Relevant…made me laugh a bit at how honest it was. I am glad I followed it here to read the other article on Desiring God. It is interesting that advice from others, well meaning or not, somehow carries an air of comparison as it comes from a limited human experience “compared” to another, but tuning out those voices in favor of God’s often quieter voice…I often find a non comparison based wisdom that leaves me with a little less cynicism and propels me forward better than any shove. Funny how the only one, who knows me better than I know myself, is capable of that.

  10. Thanks for your articles! They’ve been a great source of encouragement to me, touching crucial topics … God is using you in a big way with your gift of writing! God bless!

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